✨ A Decade Under The Influence

Everything happens for a reason, one may not even know why until years later. Externalising my 20s as a 30 year old.

Reflecting on 10 insights I discovered for myself, working to 'earn a living' in my first decade as a young adult.

1. Harmony > Balance

I’ve had the good fortune of going through the extreme ends of “work-life balance” in most of my youth (where I’m from, youths are between 15 to 35 so I have 4.5 more years to go). I’ve learnt how the balancing act can be, for better and for worse.

You are not your job. You are you, and different parts of your world can coexist.

Being a student and explorer of Life is all I ask of myself. I now choose the path of holistic living, harmonising what I value in each aspect in my life’s symphony.

2. Do your work earnestly, but don’t take things (and yourself) too seriously.

Each venture I started and went through was to challenge myself in pursuit of self-improvement and growth. Having unexpectedly live through nihilism, existentialism and absurdism at various points, there is great wisdom in the simple joys of laughing at myself in the playgrounds of Life.

I’m starting to have more fun in the whatever situation I’m in; of course I may cry — a very natural form of how I’m wired to release stored/absorbed energy within the body that may also not be mine — but I’m also always able to laugh about it at the end of the day.

3. Burn out & imposter syndrome: classics that are part of my journey

When work was my sole identity, it took a few bouts of burn out to eventually identify it for what it was, and what drove it (an unhealthy defined Heart center in Human Design terms). Broadening my mental horizons and world views to alternate perspectives and possibilities outside of "hustle & grind" productivity-driven culture really helped.

One thing led to the next and now I have supportive and sustainable systems to lean on (Human Design, Soul Tarot, YOUnique Research) and role models (mirrors) to observe and learn from that help ground me back into the body, reassurance to bloom and unfold at my own pace, and knowing when enough is enough, no matter what.

4. When you think it can’t get any worse, it will. Good news is when you think it can’t get any better, it does.

If it’s not getting better, it will eventually. Leave room to tend to these experiences.

Let things go, let it flow. Life is always flowing even in flux.

5. What is a ‘late bloomer’ anyway, really?

I grew up with an inner knowing I would walk outside the conventional path based on what I observed around me through the adults, school and society. Inside me, I also had a sense that the best label to easily sum up how society might perceive me is The Late Bloomer. In fact, just to not deal with adults nagging or imposing unsolicited advice at me, I’d just say “Just let me be. I’m a late bloomer. What to do?” 😬 🤷

When most of my peers back then 'knew' what they would like to study or work as when the time comes (which was generally to follow the iron rice bowl or an evergreen career path), I could never pinpoint a specific area for myself, except “not a 9 to 5, boring office job” like the many unhappy adults I knew who weren’t contented with what they were doing (sometimes because they don’t really have a 'choice').

Mainstream society often get caught up in the paradox of their obsession with youth. My only point to add is a reminder that “people don't become fully "adult" until they're in their 30s, according to brain scientists.”

Cultivate self-awareness, continue to revisit old structures, and learn to connect and trust your Inner Knowing. It's okay to change your mind, it's okay to switch paths, it's okay to acknowledge that the correct decision back then might not be the same correct decision right now. So don’t stick to one ‘ship’ for longer than you know when the expedition is over. “People are on a pathway, they’re on a trajectory.”

6. Human time may be seemingly linear but there are patterns and cycles inherent in nature — the cosmic Spiral of Time.

Understanding your most important values might save your Energy its Time and which priorities to focus and pay attention to…

(There’s a quiz for that if you need some inspiration.)

7. Purpose > Goal = Our purpose is in our being, not doing.

I’ve achieved many goals in the past with an ignorant sense of Goal = Purpose, and none were as satisfying as I thought it would have been once I had crossed the finishing line. I wanted to achieve it, but I didn’t think of the true purpose behind why.

For example, in 2014, I wanted to work remotely (before remote working was a well-known thing). Then I realised opportunities back then were mostly in tech companies. In 2015, I found out about UX Design (also not too common yet where I’m from), researched more about it and after careful consideration for more than a year, I invested myself into a course because I was interested in the research aspect that was something I had been doing since I was able to access the internet as a kid. I got into a tech company, we ended up going remote months into my job, and yet… And yet.

What I wanted back then was actually freedom and autonomy to work in my own flow (not always responding – a Generator's strategy: HD) and natural body clock. I eventually did with my two-year self-employment / sabbatical / recovery period.

Everything happens for a reason, you may not even know why until years later. In preparation for my next steps, reviewing past career trajectories, I’m no longer just taking it one step at a time at my own pace, but also am more connected to my inner compass and purposefully choose what to engage in.

Even so, my current a-ha moment about purpose is there’s not really a tangible straightforward purpose as society (the world around me) typically correlate to “What should I do for a living even in service to others?” It’s more of a sense of Being.

Whenever we are able to live out our own unique and authentic cellves (who we are at a cellular level – special thanks to Phoenix Bey about this spelling concept), heck, even the challenges that come into our awareness along the way, that's when our purpose is embodied into this world.